Face to Face With My Own Suicide Note

After spending more than half my life in and out of jails, rehabs and prisons while battling drug addiction, I was a dead dog on the road of life. Down in the darkness of death’s doorstep, in the depths of despair, the Light began to dawn. Then everything changed....

I was a “high bottom” drunk and did most of my drinking alone. Most people I knew had no idea that I even had a problem. But, I had a problem, for sure. For years, I used to go home and get drunk alone in my apartment. There were some events that were bottoms, in...

Addiction was nothing new to my family. There's a long line of alcoholics and my parents had been through this all with my brother years before me. The first time my parents dealt with addiction, they lost their son. I lost my brother, my niece lost his father, a...

The darkest days of my mental illness and addiction were spent hopeless in a bathroom throwing up and frantically stuffing my mouth with food. My struggle with anorexia, bulimia, over-exercising, and compulsive and destructive behaviors began at too young of an...

There was a point when I went from being "dry" to being in recovery - a pivotal moment in my life. Until that day I had been in a 12-Step program, taking part, happy to be sober. But there was a nagging thought I frequently ignored. I felt that I was "unlucky" and...

My name is Roxie Landon.  I have been sober and in recovery since December 20, 2011.  Today, I love my life!  Before December 20, 2011, however, I was completely hopeless.  I thought my life would never change.  I believed the lie I told myself, I wasn’t good...

My name is Roberto Brunelli.  After 25 years of struggle and suffering from chemical dependency I have been recovering for seven years.  I went from jail to being homeless, starving, and cold.  I was humiliated and despised by society.  I suffered a lot, but I am...

My name is Fay and I’m a recovering alcoholic.  I grew up in the Bay Area and went to college, got a masters, married, raised kids, and built my career.  During most of that time, alcohol and drugs were my fuel. I started using as a teenager when my brother died. ...

My name is Tara and I am a recovering alcoholic. I remember always feeling less then. Never being good enough. Just wanting to be accepted for me.  To be able to have my own voice and not care about the influence of others. Something was always missing inside. I...

At some point during childhood, it's safe to say all of us have dreams ... career dreams, dreams of what the future will be like, dreams of something better. Knowing what I know now, I never imagined living my dreams would involve me as an alcoholic becoming sober...

I am a nurse; I am also an alcoholic and a drug addict. I lost everything to my addiction and spent four months in jail because I stole drugs from work. In the last 11 years I have worked my 12-step program as if my life depends on it ... because it does. I have...

In ten years, by my mid-40's, I went from having a successful law practice in New York, to living on the streets in West Florida. All as a direct result of addiction. I was in and out of recovery. Clinically, I was referred to as a "chronic relapser." I always...

My name is Julianne and I am a recovering alcoholic addict.  Growing up I always felt like I was less than and uncomfortable in my own skin.  Alcoholism runs deep within my family, so growing up I was terrified of drinking and drugs.  However, something changed...

I was born into fear.  Dad was a violent bully and alcoholic and mom was a victim. When I would escape the house I was tormented in my small town for being different.  I knew I was gay at about age five.  Hair Salon Barbie was so much more fun than Tonka trucks...

I had been surrounded by alcohol my entire life.  At the age of 14, I had already began drinking hard liquor.  Having high school friends when I was in middle school made it easy to get peer-pressured into drinking.  I also lived above a bar/restaurant where my...

I grew up in Silver Springs, MD, the suburbs of Washington, D.C., and started drinking when I was 11 years old. I drank to "fit in" and to impress others. I had very good parents and a great childhood up until I thought I needed to change to get along with the many...

I am the oldest of 3 girls – and all of us have the disease of alcoholism. I was what we called a garbage head because I used many drugs and took whatever I could find. By the time I was 19, I was married and divorced. At 20, I was raising a beautiful baby boy...

I can remember the first time tasting it and being hooked at 23 years old.  All the feelings of insecurity, doubts and fears after the first taste were all removed.  Alcohol had me feeling like SUPERWOMAN and I didn't want that feeling to ever leave me.  From that...

It was the toughest semester of my life. I was taking six classes, my grandmother had passed away just days before finals, and I was too emotionally and mentally shot to focus on anything. Hours slid by and nothing was getting done. My worst fear was coming true—I...

When I was in the Army I was shot by a sniper in 2007. I was in the hospital for three months. I was on a constant morphine drip and when I got out of the hospital I was prescribed morphine pills for my injuries. However, the pills were not enough. I often found...